Monday, August 29, 2011

What did I just do?

A few weeks back, I read something about this web page,  I checked it out and really liked what she had to say about cleaning schedules.  I was at a point that I felt things needed changing up a bit.  I hated reserving Saturdays for cleaning.  I hated that I was always after the kids to clean their room.  I hated that I had junk residing in my house I no longer loved and no longer made me smile.  I hated that I always felt overwhelmed when it came to simple tasks like laundry.  I loved that she had things broken down into zones, and that spring cleaning really wasn't necessary with her "system" because you will eventually get to everything in your house with her and her "missions".  So, I've spent the last few weeks giving it a go.  It's been quite lovely.  One of her phrases is "You are never behind, Jump in where ever you are."  It made everything seem less daunting.  I wasn't trying to catch up.  I was just going with the flow of the program.  Except, I ended up viewing my house through a different pair of eyes, and I didn't like what I saw.  Disastrous, I tell you!  One mission I had to do was take down the light fixture in the bathroom and wash the glass shades.  Yeah, that made me realize that all the light fixtures looked awful!  So I couldn't let it go, I had to get the others cleaned up too.  I knew that eventually it would be a task to do on another day, but I couldn't handle the dirt.  Another task I had to do was dust the cobwebs in the bedroom.  No problem....until I realized that the walls were dusty.  The.  Walls.  Were.  Dusty?!?!  Did I know walls could be dusty? No.  Just another reason I hate textured walls.  Well, I couldn't let it go, I had to dust ALL the walls in my house!!

Now let's talk about the clutter and the decluttering I'm doing around here.  It's wonderful.  Things are getting tossed left and right.  It's been very beneficial to the soul.  I've let go of things that no longer bring me joy.  I'm reinventing my house, and it feels fabulous.  New routines, redecorating, reassigning things.  All very wonderful, and very much needed.  I was finally at a point around the house that I was able to take that much needed deep sigh, and feel like things were *right*.  It also meant I was at a point to start taking on new projects, and I was all about it.  I had told David that I wanted to move the desk out of the living room and put it back in our bedroom.  The desk was not giving me a feeling of serenity, but rather a feeling of CHAOS.  It wasn't working for me anymore.  So yesterday we moved it...back to the bedroom.

And now I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed again.  It's not that I don't like it.  I do.  But as I was trying to explain this very bizarre feeling to David, he looked at me and said, "You screwed with the feng shui of things."

Yes!  That's it!  And the more I thought about it, I realized that I've gone and turned every. last. routine. upside. down.  So now begins the journey of trying to figure out if things are going to work where they are.  I don't want to put something away somewhere simply because I have nowhere else to put it.  I want it to be logical...deliberate.  I had spent the last few weeks trying to make my house not be chaotic, and by moving things around, I jeopardized the flow.  Now I feel like I'm trying to re-reinvent the wheel in my house.  It's an awful feeling.  I need things to calm down.  I need my routines to work.  I don't want a routine to begin forming just because it had to.  It needs to work for me.  I remember when my sister moved into one of her apartments.  She was trying to get things unpacked and  had hastily opted to put silverware in one particular drawer.  At the time, it seemed logical.  But after she was moved in and the chaos of the move past her, it didn't work for her anymore.  She constantly opened the drawer that she thought should be the silverware drawer, only to find it was the wrong one.  When I asked her why she didn't just switch them, she said she was determined to remember that she had put the silverware in a different drawer.  She eventually did switch them and found she was much happier. 

I learned one other thing - that this house is just too small for us.  As I'm trying to put things away, get rid of what we don't need/like, and keep the serenity, I don't have room for everything.  Here's my example --->  I'm trying to figure out where the printer will go.  I couldn't remember how I had the whole thing set up in our room.  Then I remembered that the last time the desk and computer were in our room, the printer was not.  At that time, the boys shared a room and the third bedroom was an office/guest room.  The printer comfortably resided in there, in that third bedroom.  However, now that room is Jordan's room, so I'll need to find somewhere else for the printer.  While the desk was in the living room, the printer was on a TV tray next to the desk.  Now I don't have a place in our room for the TV tray, so it needs to be put away.  But where?  I put it in the front closet and now my vacuum almost doesn't fit, and the closet feels crowded and cluttered.  But I'm not ready to get rid of the TV trays.  So now what?!  See??  Welcome to my dilemma. 

So if I seem a bit scatterbrained over the next week or so, you'll know that the changes weren't working, and I'll be trying to fix it.  I had hoped that I would be able to declutter my house and life on a slower pace, but it seems that I'll be fast-tracking it....not the way I wanted it to all go down, but if it gets me to a serene place, I'm all for it!

Wish me luck!

If this seems to ramble on, my apologies.  I just had to sit down and try to think through some things. So in my attempt to regain control over things, I threw it out there for all of you, whoever you are.  I'll get there, I promise!!

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