Thursday, July 31, 2008

Works-For-Me Wednesday (and it works on Thursday too!)


I have become a ziplock queen! I love them all - quart size, gallon size, even the big-ol'-throw-the-comforter-in-it size. But I'm pretty sure that my favorite right now is the snack size. (It's so cute!)

Since we have been trying to lose a little weight around here, the snack size zips have pretty much become a necessity. Our biggest problem/realization has been portion size. I have learned that I will eat double (on average, at a minimum) the recommended serving size for everything good (like cream cheese and ice cream), and I will underestimate the recommended serving size for things I need, like veggies.

Enter ziplocks.

For example: I will buy the big bag of baby carrots, and I measure out 3 ounces and put it in a snack size ziplock. That equals one serving of veggies. Trust me, you can eat more than 3 ounces if you want. None of us are a little thicker thru the mid-section from eating carrots! But this way I know that I'm getting one full serving of veggies.

Another example: I also will buy the bigger package of lunch meat and measure it down to single-serving size packages. This one was a little harder for me because sandwiches should always look like they came from the Jewish deli, even if I made it at home! But that can realistically be 4-6 servings of lunch meat!! It still amazes me what a serving really is. Once again, the snack ziplocks are the perfect size.

I love the convenience of single serve items, but sometimes the price tag that accompanies the convenience is a little much. I also like to know exactly how much I'm getting. So, for me it is worth the time to measure things out. In the long run, it pays off. David can grab and go on the way to work...making lunches for Jordan are faster...snacks don't take time to fix. Grab a bag of carrots or grapes or grape tomatoes or whatever and go!


I love ziplocks................
Visit Rocks In My Dryer for more Works-For-Me Wednesday tips!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sour Cream Potatoes

Ok, it's been a while since I've posted any recipes, so I thought it was time. Besides, I made regular mashed potatoes the other night for dinner, and they just didn't compare. Looks like I'll have to manage my time better next time I want potatoes, because these are the BOMB!!!

10 medium red potatoes, peeled and quartered (you can use russetts or yukons)
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, cubed (don't skimp, use the REAL stuff!)
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1/4 cup milk
2 Tablespoons butter, divided
1 Tablespoon dried parsley flakes
1 1/4 teaspoons garlic salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika (I shake until I think it looks good – I DON’T measure!!)

Place potatoes in a large saucepan and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and cook for 15-20 minutes or until tender. Drain.
In a large mixing bowl, mash the potatoes. Add the cream cheese, sour cream, milk, 1 Tablespoon butter, parsley and garlic salt; beat until smooth.
Spoon into a greased 2-qt baking dish. Sprinkle with paprika; Dot with remaining butter. Bake, uncovered at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes or until heated through.
Yield: 6-8 servings

You really can't go wrong with this recipe!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Is it....possible?

All day today, I have been asking myself, "Is he kidding me? Is he my kid?" Two days ago, I was lucky to get him to pee in the potty consistently. Today, someone traded my Kelton for another Kelton.

A Kelton who decided that it is time to be potty trained.

A Kelton who has decided that since Daddy and Brother both stand to pee at the big potty, he will join the masses of boys who stand to pee.

A Kelton who announced with great confidence that he needed to poop on the big potty (and actually followed thru with it!) **OH HAPPY DAY!**

A Kelton who wore BBU all day without any accidents.

I'm still pinching myself...I didn't think this day would ever come. And I'm pretty sure that I just jinxed anything and everything by merely mentioning it on here. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe tomorrow he'll remember that he gets a sucker when he doesn't poop in his pants. Just maybe.

I can dream.......................right?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Friday Five

**I'm starting my own version of Friday Five. They will be things I like, or things that may make my life a little easier. It could be anything really.**


Tagless Tees. I have cut the tags out of my fair share of t-shirts. Since I'm a big girl, I can handle tags...if I have to. I own a number of tagless tees, but I didn't fully appreciate them until I got burnt to a crisp at my son's baseball game. After the game, I dug thru David's shirt drawer to find the softest shirt I could find - and it was tagless. And it was wonderful!


Mini spiral notebooks. I love them. I use them on my desk to jot stuff in. It can be phone call notes, reminders to myself, anything really. But the best part is that it is all contained. No more hunting the house for that one yellow Post-it in the sea of yellow Post-its. Nope, if it is a phone number that you need, I'll bet that I probably wrote it down in my trusty spiral. And when it's full, I buy another one, and stack the full one in the drawer. You never know when you'll need to reference a filed spiral for information. That reminds me....it's time to buy another one.

Crystal Light On the Go packets. I have been drinking much more water these days, but it gets really boring after a while. These fun little packs give me lots of choices to mix it up. And they are portable! I carry a variety of them in my purse so that I always have options besides plain ol' water. I love that they are measured for a 16 ounce bottle of water too. Just pour it in, shake it up and GO!



Daisies. Can you go wrong with daisies? I don't think so! In my opinion, they are the happiest flower out there. Don't give me roses, give me daisies any day of the week, and I'll be very happy!





Microfiber Pillows. I love mine, I love mine, I love mine! I love that it is as soft as a feather pillow, but without the feathers. For some reason the dog has this incredible need to eat feather pillows....he's already enjoyed four. So I went to the microfiber and he has left them alone. I also love that they are king sized, so they are really nice for squishing into the perfect position. Perfect. I highly recommend microfiber pillows!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Oh yeah...

I forgot....the Tooth Fairy forgot to stop at our house last night. S/he seems to be quite forgetful when it comes to depositing money under my son's pillow. Will S/HE ever learn? Probably not...

Will he EVER learn?

I'll be very blunt. I'm tired of changing poopy pull-ups. I'm tired of him coming to me and telling me that he pooped "in his britches." I'm tired of him telling me he needs his pants changed. What is so spectacular and wonderful about poop stuck to your butt? It would drive me crazy - certifiably crazy. You would think he'd get tired of it, but apparently not. I've tried the "over the top" praise. We've had Potty Parties. We've danced around the house screaming his praises, again and again and again. I've even tried bribing him with suckers. It hasn't worked. I'm running out of ideas. Does anyone have any to share?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Works-For-Me Wednesday



My suggestion may seem silly, but it has totally worked for us. I don't think you have to have little kids to use this tip either! It works for everyone!


You never know when sticky fingers will happen in the car, so I put a pack of travel baby wipes in the pocket of the driver door. I also put diaper bags from the Dollar Store (the kind used for disposing of dirty diapers) in a ziplock and keep them in the door too. Since I don't like keeping a trash bag in the car, those little diaper bags are nice for being trash bags when one is needed (and they have a fresh scent too!) Keeping both in the driver pocket makes them readily accessible, and much safer than trying to dig thru a diaper bag in the backseat while driving 70mph down the highway. Besides simply being handy on the road, they have also been a life saver when I haven't realized that I was out of wipes or bags in the baby's diaper bag - so I always have backups! They have been so helpful to have that I will probably be the mom of teenage boys and still buying travel packs of baby wipes!!

Visit Rocks In My Dryer for more Works-For-Me Wednesday tips!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

my "to do" list

    If I were to actually make a list today, this is what it would be:


    1. Make a list
    2. Do the dishes as oppose to stare at them
    3. Research "how to organize a closet-wanna-be"
    4. Do a load of laundry (not just wash it ~ put it in the dryer too, and fold it and put it away!)
    5. Remember to keep watching the clock so that I don't forget to pick Jordan up at noon
    6. Re-organize the diaper bag so that I know I have all of the necessities (pull-up, wipes, change of clothes, additional dignity, stage make-up that will cover up extreme blushing) and not get caught off-guard the next time Kelton's ridiculously full pull-up [because he won't pee in a public toilet] explodes while he sits in my lap at the movies making it look like I peed my pants (maybe I'll tell that story later, maybe I won't)
    7. Keep an eye on the time
    8. Turn Optimus Prime into "car mode"
    9. Turn Optimus Prime back into a robot
    10. Turn Optimus Prime back into "car mode"
    11. Throw Optimus Prime away
    12. Dig Optimus Prime out of the garbage
    13. Start planning dinner now so that at 7:30pm, I'm not standing in the kitchen asking "how do PB&Js sound?"
    14. Water and mist the plants
    15. Quit staring at the dishes
    16. Change a messy diaper, becuase he knows where to poop, but it is obviously more fun to poop in his pants...besides, it streamlines his day so that he can poop AND continue to play with a used-coffee-ground covered Optimus Prime.
    17. Get a haircut at 12:15
    18. Ignore the dishes
    19. Step over piles of laundry
    20. Forget about dinner entirely - the kids ate breakfast, they should be fine until tomorrow
    21. Remember to put the diaper bag back in the car so that at least one of us has a change of clothes the next time a pull-up explodes
    22. Mark off #1 because here is my list
    23. Crumple up "to-do" list and go catch up on my tv shows instead

I had to put some easy ones on the list so I could have something to cross off.....we'll see how many actually do get crossed off.

**Update: I actually did get stuff done today! I did feed my kids, (and hubby too!) and I even BAKED a dessert! I filled the dishwasher and ran the load...still have more dishes to do. I didn't get any laundry done...oops. Oh well - tomorrow is another day (to blow chores off)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Why???

I swear, as I go about my day, my mind is running a million miles an hour thinking of all the things I should do with my blog. Conversations in my head go something like this:

"Mad Monday? Yeah! That's a cool title for Monday blogs, I could make it be about [insert random thought here]. Or what about Recipe Monday? Oh, that could be fun to showcase a recipe weekly. My readers, (all 5 of you, but don't you love that I feel like I'm such a big blogger now that I can fondly refer to you as "my readers"?!) they might enjoy something like that!"

...and so on and so on.

And then I sit in front of my computer all excited to get a post pounded out, and for some reason, a case of writer's block sets in.

So what kind of post do you get? One just like this! And I guarantee that I will stand up from my desk and the ideas will flow freely once again.

Hmm, maybe it's the chair..............................

Sunday, July 20, 2008

...and here is the "linen closet"...

I hate clutter. I mean, I really hate it. And yet, I can't seem to get rid of it either. Here is a picture of my microscopic, I-want-to-be-a-closet-when-I-grow-up-but-am-really-the-laughing-stock-of-closets hall/linen closet. (Don't let the empty shelf fool you ~ it isn't always empty. That is where the bath towels belong if I ever actually get them all washed and put away.)

This closet is clearly the work of a man. No self-respecting woman would ever think about putting a 23" closet in the hall as the sole linen closet. If she did feel the need for such a small closet in the design, she would have 3 others lining the hallway, or incorporated into each bathroom. Since I don't have any other closets, I concluded with great certainty this is the work of a man's design; flawed from the word go.

Since this is the only hall closet, it has been the bane of my clutter delimma. Granted, I can close the door, and 94.7% of the time, I can ignore the mass chaos and confusion that lurks behind it. But when it comes time to go find something or put something away, I cringe. The wanna-be closet is home to everything from the bath towels to pillow cases to sunblock to medical supplies to nail polish to extra toothbrushes, and everything else that has no other home and David won't let me move to the garage. (He'll tell you that my answer to everything that needs to be put away-but I can't get rid of-but I don't want to see on a regular basis either, is the garage. It frustrates him to no end - - and it still usually ends up in the garage. But we aren't here today to discuss the garage. That is another post entirely.)

I know, I should go thru it and organize it, right? I have. Many times. And each time, I ask myself the same questions. What if some major catastrophe happens and I need (17) 6"x9" non-stick guaze pads? Or 8 rolls of medical tape to tape down said gauze pads? Or 2 pairs of scissors to cut the medical tape? {I obviously can't get rid of these life saving supplies.} What if I travel and need more than 7 make-up/toiletries bags? {I can't get rid of them ~ I'll need them at some point, and I don't want to have to go buy more...so I'm going to keep them "just in case."} What if I go camping and need a can of OFF in each hand, and one in each back pocket to ward off the droves of west-nile-carrying mosquitos that could be swarming me and my family? {Right, can't get rid of those either.}

So, my day was going along just fine until I did laundry this evening, and had to put beach towels away. It meant that I had to open the door to that pathetic excuse for a closet to stuff and shove towels to get them in there...and thus my sunny mood came to an abrupt and screeching halt and transformed into the why-do-we-have-so-much-crap mood that I am currently in. And now, here I sit, pounding away my frustrations because I opened up the dreaded hall closet door, and was reminded of the snarled mess that resides behind the tiniest closet door ever.

He said what?

Yesterday David was walking across the living room floor, and one of the floor boards creaked. Kelton told him to "quit squishing the house."

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Is this how Donald Trump got started?

Entrepreneurial ~ adjective

1. of or relating to an entrepreneur
2. willing to take risks in order to make a profit



Let's just say my son is well on his way to becoming an entrepreneur, without even knowing it! Okay, let me back up and bring you up to speed before I tell you about Jordan's new talent.

A couple years ago, when Jordan lost his first tooth, I was trying to think how to make this tiny little tooth a bit bigger and easier for the Tooth Fairy to find. Let's face it, the Tooth Fairy needs a little help now and again, and his/her night vision isn't the greatest, and s/he doesn't actually own or "possess" a pair of night vision goggles on a daily basis. So we parents of toothless children sometimes feel the need to give the poor, blind Fairy a helping hand. With that said, I decided that wrapping the tooth in Kleenex was a brilliant idea. It also gave me a place to write the necessary information so that when he is older, I can pull out a mouthful of lost teeth and bore him with them. (and God forbid, should anything happen to Jordan, I have DNA...because that is just how my brain works sometimes. Sorry, but it's true.)

Anywho, this plan has worked like a charm. And one time (at band camp!), the Tooth Fairy had a rough night, and forgot to stop at our house. Unfortunately, we were leaving for Disneyland that day, and this simple fact caused a lot of stress for Jordan. We added the tooth to the packing list, and since it was wrapped up nicely, it insured us finding it for another attempt to extract money from the Tooth Fairy. (In case you wondered, we had to leave a note on his bed directing the Tooth Fairy to Southern California. Disaster avoided.)

As you see, it has "paid off" to fold up Kleenex for the sake of permanently housing a very tiny tooth.


Okay, sometimes it's a Post-it.

At the beginning of the year, I had cleaned out the cabinet of my desk, and came across all of the teeth. I guess a couple of them somehow didn't make it into the box. I'm not sure where they escaped to, but I ended up finding them just a few weeks ago. Well, not wanting to get rid of them, but not knowing where to put them either, I simply deposited the rogue teeth into my basket (with a lid, mind you!) in the hallway. Why? would he go into that basket? It isn't his. He never has before, so I figured this was a safe place for now. It worked...so much so that I forgot they were there.........

Jump forward to this week.

Jordan came rushing in to show me his long lost treasure, "the two teeth that he hadn't put under his pillow yet!!" He was so excited to realize that he actually had the capability to get paid that night! How could he have been so careless?? (And now I'm thinking, how could I be so careless?) Was I going to have to explain that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus are the same? Fictitious?

Not today. No ma'am, not today.

I'm still shocked that he bought whatever lame explanation I had to offer. At that exact moment, my head was spinning in that movie slow-mo, background blurring sorta way, and I can't for the life of me remember what I actually said to him...but he bought it.

Then I realized...HE'S TRYING TO DOUBLE DIP THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!

Now, let's just hope he doesn't look under my keyboard anytime soon.

Friday, July 18, 2008

A New Look

Ok, I thought the page needed a little sprucing up....so what do you think of the new look?

Comments anyone?

I haven't seen any comments from anyone in a while now....hint hint!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today's word is....

For your learning enjoyment.................

Precipice [pres-uh-pis] ~noun

1 .a cliff with a vertical, nearly vertical, or overhanging face.
2. a situation of great peril

Monday, July 14, 2008

Growing Up...with a twist

Look! The significance, you ask? Maybe...Kelton's very first "Big Boy Underwear"?! BUT, before we went to the store, I drilled him over and over and over again where he is supposed to go poop (correct answer: in the toilet) and where he is not supposed to poop (correct answer: in his big boy underwear). He had it down pat. Let's just say that had he been on Jeopardy and the final question was either of the above, he would have won - - no doubt about it!! So I felt it my duty (and in an odd way, my privilege) to take him shopping and fulfill his current - as of Friday - dream of being in BBU (Big Boy Underwear.)

Saturday morning dawned and he and I were off to Target with smiles on our faces and a mission before us. I bought two packs...three pairs wasn't enough. That would guarantee at least two loads of laundry a day if this didn't go well. But I didn't feel it necessary to go overboard right off the bat either. This really is a trial run in the BBU department, so no sense stock piling if this wasn't going to work, right? Before we knew it, we were homeward bound, BBU in hand, and ready to start the next (and hopefully final) phase in potty training. If only it were to be that simple! It wasn't ~ go figure.

When we got home, I immediately sent him into the bathroom since he was, in fact, still dry. He emerged from the bathroom very excited, so we did the Potty Dance, and he happily asked for his BBU. Since he had already done his business earlier in the morning, I was game to go along with the suggestion. Hey, what was the worst that could happen? A little dribble on the carpet? The kitchen floor perhaps? I have Nature's Miracle ~ we're good to go. Let me tell you, I was wrong...way wrong. I don't think he was in BBU any more than 15 minutes when I thought I smelled something. I (hesitantly) called him to me and asked if he had pooped. Trust me, I knew the answer, he had. Just my luck. This wasn't going to be easy getting him changed, and I knew that...and that very thought sucked. But, we made it work and we got it done.

Curious to what his answer would be, I asked him why he pooped in his BBU? He started crying "I didn't know!!" Poor little guy...nothing a few kisses and a hug couldn't fix. That is, until I attempted to put a pull-up back on him. It seems that since he was the current owner of BBU, pull-ups were no more...and thus began a water-works show to rival the Bellagio!! Turns out the only way to calm him down (and assure me that I wouldn't be cleaning large amounts of poo from BBU) was to put his BBU on over his pull-up. Go Mommy! Matter solved, for today at least!

**While we haven't totally graduated from "pull-up"less underwear, we are on the right road (I hope!) At least he is showing an interest in potty training, and that is the first step...

Opinion Question

Um, does this constitute as child labor?
If so, David is so in trouble!!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Oh how true this is...

The internal struggles between men and women can be quite funny, if the right light is shed on them. The following shows one of those every day situations, which is hilarious (if you aren't currently in the middle of it!). It shows the differences between men and women, and how we think and process the same information differently. Enjoy!

SOMEONE MOVED MY STUFF. I THINK.


How many of you married guys have ever asked your wives this question:

“Have you seen my {article of footwear, clothing, tool, car keys, mp3 player, etc.}”

I am willing to bet that a lot of you have. To a guy, this a simple yes or no question. To the woman he lives with, it is not.

Let me give you an example. Suppose that you are a guy, and you are going on an excursion to the hardware store for some guy-type stuff. As you are walking out the front door, you attempt to grab your keys from off of that little table in the foyer next to the front door where you left them. It turns out that you are unable to do this, because the keys are no longer there. This is a mystery to the guy mind. “They were there,” you think to yourself. “But….they no longer are.”

Your mind flashes to yesterday, when you came in the door and tossed your keys on the table. In your mind, you see them hit the table, and slide an inch to the rear. Your ears hear their distant, phantom jingle. You see the light reflect off the shiny new brass house key you just had made. No doubt about it. The keys were there at some point in the recent past. You can feel it. So the only conclusion is this: The keys have been moved. You are almost 23% sure of this fact. There is a reason that this percentage is so low, and we’ll get to that in a moment.

The next step, obviously, is to inquire as to the key’s whereabouts with the other co-habitants of your dwelling. If you live alone, you can stop reading this now, because it does not pertain to you. If you live with a room mate of the same sex, this also does not pertain to you. Otherwise, walk with me.

What usually happens next is that you yell something along the lines of:

"HONEY?? HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS?”

Pay close attention, because this is where things move outside the realm of guy think. As I said -- to a guy, this is a simple yes or no question. Either the keys have been seen, or they have not been seen. There should be a 50% chance of either an answer that will help you, or an answer that will not. Either one is OK, because as a guy, you are simply employing the process of elimination to determine the possible location of your keys, and if a witness can be had, this is always helpful.

So do you get a yes or no answer? No, you do not. If you live with a woman, you will most likely get one of the following answers:

1. If you didn’t leave your keys all over the place maybe you’d be able to find them. Did you check {insert obvious place here}?

2. They are probably still right where you left them.*

3. Well, I didn’t touch them.**

4. Did you check the hook (where they are supposed to be?) Note: the part in parenthesis is usually not said out loud, but it doesn’t have to be. All guys will hear it as if it had been screamed into a megaphone. Also, “the hook” refers to an arbitrary decorative hook or group of hooks set aside by your wife specifically for keys, and as such, is the only acceptable and logical place for keys to be deposited immediately upon entering the house.

As you can plainly see, all of the previous answers could have been covered by a simple “No.” And keep in mind that a simple “No” will not aggravate. It will not annoy. It will not do anything except impart a single, valuable piece of information. To wit, whether or not the keys have been seen. Period. That’s the only answer a guy really cares about when it comes down to it, and this is precisely why a woman will never give it.

If, on the other hand, she actually has seen the keys, and has actually moved them, you will get one of the following answers:

1. If you didn’t leave your keys all over the place maybe you’d be able to find them. Did you check {insert obvious place here}?

2. They are probably still right where you left them.

3. Well, I didn’t touch them.

4. Did you check the hook (where they are supposed to be)?

You will notice that these answers are exactly the same in either case. This is not an accident.

You may also notice that in the second list of possible answers, answer #3 is a blatant lie. This is not to say your wife is a liar. Far from it. This is the literal truth – as she remembers it. She really has absolutely no recollection of moving the keys, even though she obviously did, and if there was a hidden security camera above the hallway table it would show her walking by, sighing, grabbing the keys, and hanging them on the appropriate decorative hook.

There are many reasons for this behavior, and most of them have to do with the difference between how a guy’s mind keeps track of things as compared to a woman’s mind. A guy remembers where things are by picturing where he left them last. A woman remembers where things are by picturing where they belong. I have to say that the woman’s way is much more logical, however it takes more effort than most guys will want to expend. Somehow, a woman is born with this capability, and somewhere deep in the primal reptilian portion of her brain, she has an unconscious ability to put things away without even thinking about it. And that is why a woman will swear up and down that she never touched your keys, even though we have the hidden video and, if we were so inclined, the fingerprints to prove it.

Think of it this way: A guy’s mind is like a 60” flat screen TV with post-it notes stuck all around the edges. On each note is the location of something we put down somewhere. We know exactly where those somethings are, because we have the post-it note and we can reference that at any time. A woman’s mind stores information such as this in a mental file cabinet full of file folders, each cross referenced and color coded alphabetically by item and location.

The problem occurs when the woman stumbles upon an item the guy has already written the location of on one of his mental Post-it Notes and decides to move it to where it belongs, and then add its location to her file cabinet. She will do this with much sighing and muttering, and she will also derive satisfaction from a job well done, because women are like that. Meanwhile, the guy is blithely watching his 60” mental TV (which is probably showing porn or sports or, in a perfect guy world, porn-sports) and he is completely unaware that one of his Post-It Notes has just become obsolete.

Until, that is, the time comes when he needs to find whatever it was that was written on it. He will think to himself, “Hmm…where did I leave my tape measure?” and that particular little Post-It Note will flutter down off the mental TV and he will pick it up and read it.

It will say something like, “Tape measure: placed in the little basket on the bathroom counter that holds the cotton balls and Q-Tips.” So he will go to the bathroom and find the little basket with the cotton balls and Q-Tips and the tape measure will not be there. Granted, it probably shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but still, he is almost 23% sure it was there at some point, because the mental post-it note in his mental hand is telling him that it was.

Invariably, what will happen next is the familiar sequence of “Have you seen my tape measure? It was right here in this basket,” and the answer of “No, I didn’t touch it,” and the hidden video camera, had it really existed, would have clearly shown her picking up the tape measure and tossing it in the kitchen junk drawer while on the way to emptying the bathroom garbage can. It is this automatic behavior that drives the guy nuts, and is completely responsible for the fact that he is, at any given time, only 23% sure of where he left any of his stuff, and has no real idea that the remaining 77% of his post-it note inventory is total crap.

Here’s a real-life for instance.

Last night, I hung the particular pair of jeans I wanted to wear to work over the railing by the stairs. I did this so that in the morning I can just grab them, hit the shower, throw on a shirt and shoes and be in the car thirty five minutes after my alarm clock goes off. This morning, I stumbled to the stairs, grabbed my pants on the railing, and…no, actually I didn’t grab them because they were no longer there. Somehow, they had been put on top of a laundry basket of other clean clothes in the next room. I am guessing that they did not look very good hung over the railing, and had the camera crew for Better Homes and Gardens made a surprise appearance at our house at 10:30 PM, it could have been a complete and utter disaster.

Seriously, I have taken milk out of the fridge, walked to the pantry, grabbed a box of cereal and by the time I turned around again, the milk was back in the fridge. I kid you not.

She is that efficient.

Once a woman realizes she has this power, she can begin to use it toward her own ends. Say for instance her husband pissed her off. Also say he only pissed her off slightly, so she doesn’t really want to get into a full-blown fight, because that will simply upset her, which she also does not want.

So she thinks for a bit, and decides that she will clean his office. The reason she decides to clean his office is not because she wants to do something nice for him. Hardly. It's because that is where the highest concentration of mental post-it notes can be found, and she wants to screw with them. A lot. (A quick note to my wife: I'm not talking about you, of course. But now that I've thought of it, I will have to pay more attention and see if there is any correlation between my pissing you off and my office getting cleaned.)

So she will move stuff, clean stuff, stack stuff, throw out stuff, and relocate stuff to the basement. When she is done, the office will look fantastic, which makes her happy, and the guy in her life will not be able to find a single thing in there, which also makes her happy, because she just got even with him and he can’t get pissed at her. She will say “Honey, I cleaned your office for you. It looks so good, doesn’t it?” adding a silent “you bastard” to the end of the sentence, knowing full well that he can’t really complain about it because she has just done something "nice" for him. All he can do is sit, bewildered, as thousands of mental post-it notes fly off his mental TV and flutter around his ears. It’s the perfect revenge crime.

The guy cannot win this battle unless he takes the drastic step of deciding to live alone and therefore only having himself to blame for not being able to find things. This is kind of like cutting off the arm to fix the hangnail, so in reality all he can do is continue to leave stuff all over the place, and hope that he can remain 23% positive that he is not losing his mind because nothing is ever where he thinks he left it.

Now where on earth did I put my car keys? Oh yeah, I think they're on the kitchen table. Hmmm. I guess not. Maybe that was yesterday or something. Ah, there they are, right on the hook (where they belong.) The funny thing is, I am pretty sure I didn’t put them there.

But I could have.

Maybe.

I’m about 77% sure I didn’t, though.

*implies that the keys are probably someplace they clearly do not belong, and have been in that particular location for way too long.

**a masterstroke of tactical genius - four words that immediately cut off any attempt by you to accuse her of moving them, and also seizes first-strike capability in any argument that may follow.

(My thanks to J. Virgil for a wonderfully written tale of everyday life!)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Final Tally

We closed the day with 5 times on the potty, and 5 times he went!

Tomorrow is a new day................

Four and counting

Latest potty update - we are at four times and counting that Kelton has said he had to go....and he went!

** See post below if this isn't making any sense to you! **

Potty parties and new favorite phrases

It started out as a game to him.....he says he has to go potty, and I swear it's really just a ploy to get naked. We've been playing this game for a while now (I lost track a long time ago when this all started.) Unfortunately, he won't sit on "the big potty", only his little potty. So when he says in the middle of Target that he has to go potty, he doesn't really mean it, thus, I've quit racing him to the bathroom when we are out and about because he won't put his cute little behind on any toilet but his at home. (I'll keep my fingers crossed that he will outgrow his fear of big toilets, or its going to be a long road for us.) So, when he would go in his pull-up, we would tell him that he is supposed to go in the potty, not in his pants. He has heard this a lot - so much so that you can ask him where he is supposed to go, and he will tell you "in the potty." However, we have not had much luck in getting him to put that theory into practice.

Things have been getting better here the last two weeks or so - more consistent I should say. I've learned that if he really does go, he comes running out yelling "Mommy! I went potty! Come see my pee!!!" (those magical little words!) And I will follow him to the bathroom, inspect the pee, and throw a "Potty Party" as we dump it into the toilet for a farewell send off and flush. If he didn't go, he will simply ask for his pull-up back on. I can ask if he went, and he will say he did, but he didn't. Every time he has Daddy come check it out, Daddy gets informed that it is his "biggest pee ever!" I have yet to hear that one...can't wait until I do!

I think that today is our turning point. *Fingers crossed* Aside from starting off poorly, he has now told us three times! that he has to go potty - and he has gone every time!!!!! Big boy underwear, here we come!!!

Looks like its time to start carrying around a stack of post-its in my purse so we can confuse those automatic toilets and prevent them from flushing.............I've been waiting for the day! Is it here?! Could it really be? Could he be almost..................potty trained?

Yay for me!

I'm so excited - I have my very own registered domain! Now you can just go to Skizzle's Corner to see my blog! I'm hoping to learn how to make my blog truly my own and unique page, and not be one of 15 templates available thru blogspot. Guess I have a lot to learn, don't I?! Hopefully it will be as fun in reality as it is in my head.........

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Papa's Got A Brand New......Ride

Here it is...David's new toy! Well, more like this is his new commuter vehicle. I was joking around saying that he would have it all detailed out by noon. Turns out he had it done by 9:30AM!! It isn't his "dream bike" but he'll still get to feel the wind thru his....on his face.

Kelton was game for having a motorcycle, until he heard it up close and personal.....he thinks it is too loud! Jordan couldn't disagree more! He thinks the bike is too cool for words. He is already hinting to needing to ride with Daddy. Do they make helmets small enough? I hope not!

My Boys on the bike ~ aren't the little ones just too cute?!

David's Mosaic


Saturday, July 5, 2008

My Mosaic

You can make your own too. Here's how:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into a Flickr search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker and make a cool mosaic to put on your blog or flickr.
Viola!
The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

Pretty cool, huh? Have fun with it, and thanks for the idea, Cindie!